WHO IS JACK SCHITT...

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?   We find
ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'   Well,
thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.   Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate,
married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.   They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.   The deeply religious couple produced six
children:
     Holie Schitt,
     Giva Schitt,
     Fulla Schitt,
     Bull Schitt,
     and the twins Deep Schitt
     and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school
dropout.   After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.   Noe Schitt
later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted
to keep her previous name.   She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather
nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.   Two of the other six children, Fulla
Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently
married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.   The wedding announcement
in the newspaper announced the "Schitt-Happens" nuptials.   The Schitt-Happens
children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.   He recently returned
from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt